I have not been faithful with this blog thingee for the last couple of weeks. I have had a lot of things going on.
Brett came to visit last week and that was wonderful. We would sit at the kitchen table at the same time in the afternoons. Brett would be on WoW and I would be typing up my notes, coloring my anatomy sheets or putting music on my new iPod touch. We would talk about a lot of different things. On Monday he came to class with me while we discussed male anatomy. He asked a couple of questions in class and that surprised the teacher. On Friday, he came back to class with me so that he could be my guinea pig. I gave him 3 shots and drew blood. He was pretty brave. For payment, I bought him a nice dessert when we went out for dinner that night. I was very sad to see him go because I know that it will be a long time before I see him again. We worked on a blanket for him that is fur and minkie. He helped pick out the two fabrics and he loved it. He kept wrapping himself up in the blanket during the day. The ferret loved it, too. He would roll around in it.
Emeli is now out in WA visiting the Kesler's. She has called me many times telling me that she is so glad she lives with me and she is away from the drama. She also misses us a lot. I think she finally sees what she was living with. It took her leaving that situation, building a life out here and then going back to that for her to see how awful it was. Brett was telling me how peaceful it is here and he misses that a lot.
So it's just Robby and I this week. It's weird being back to just the two of us. It's not like Emeli eats a lot (because she doesn't), but it's weird to cook dinner for just the two of us. We have a lot more leftovers and since Emeli isn't here, they don't get eaten as fast. Emeli loves leftovers and likes them for breakfast or after school. I miss her a lot. I especially miss her in the mornings when I am getting ready for school. Usually she and I are bumping into each other the whole time and chatting. It is too quiet in the mornings.
I am nervous about leaving school and going out to the medical field. It's interesting that just as potential MA, people are already asking me medical questions. It makes me very nervous to answer. What if I am wrong?! I love this field and I love learning this stuff and I am excited to go out to work. I just hope I remember it all!!!!
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
Sunday, March 27, 2011
Sunday
This is the second Sunday I have not gone to church. I will not be going to church next Sunday or the Sunday after that. Next Sunday is General Conference and the Sunday after that, I will be running around with Robby like I did today. Last Sunday we went to Rachelle's house to celebrate Zoe's birthday a week early. We gave her a white princess nightie, which she loved and I scored with that gift...it's all about scoring with gifts :D. I'm feeling kind of blah and I know it's because I haven't been to church lately. I need a good dose of religion to pep me right up. I'm looking forward to listening to Conference next Saturday; however, Brett will be here and he will probably be a poop about listening to both sessions on Saturday. But I will at least catch the morning one.
Yesterday Emeli went to the Festival of Colors in Spanish Fork with Brooklyn, so it was just Robby and I running around Central Utah looking at all the "living signs" (people who hold signs) and making sure they all showed up. We were missing 3 out of the 13 and Robby's boss was pissed. Robby got a scathing email from him, which prompted Robby to fire the supervisor he had who was supposed to be there supervising these living signs. Lots of drama. I hate drama. Today we had a new supervisor and although she kept getting lost, she did a great job. Robby kept saying, "I don't get how she can't read a map." I totally understand because I am directionally challenged. The only place where I am NOT directionally challenged is in a mall. Sad, huh? Emeli borrowed my white sneakers so she could see how dirty they would get at the Festival of Colors. Stupid me let her take them thinking I could clean them after. Nope. They are now a light pink color. Not too bad because I like the color pink, but I also like having white tennies, too.
Shari sent me a copy of the book she has been working on, so while Robby drove, I occasionally read her book. I was hooked from the first page and I love it. Now Emeli is reading it and SHE is hooked. She reads aloud when she reads, so I can hear her little voice in there reading Shari's book. She mentioned that Shari likes to swear sometimes. I told Shari that and Shari got a good laugh about that. I told Shari that I swear occasionally, too...like today. I had just filled up a 6 quart plastic jug of Hawaiian Punch and set it on the bar. I set it too far on the edge and the stupid thing spilled all over the carpet. I watched it in slow motion. Then when it hit the ground, it cracked and when I picked it up, it kept gushing punch. I said a word that starts with S really loud. Then I got down on my knees and started spraying. Of course, any time I engage in some kind of project like that, Ollie is very interested and curious. I was in no mood to indulge his curiosity, so I told Emeli to toss him back in his cage. He kept trying to roll in it. GRRRRR!!!
Just as I was getting off my knees from that, Robby told me that two living signs had bailed and that he needed ME to hold a sign and dance for four hours. I was NOT happy about that. I know the place I was going to stand and the wind out there is ferocious. I pulled out everything I would need: huge BYU sweatshirt, scarf, ear covers, gloves, and I sent Emeli to the clubhouse to buy me a couple of Diet Cokes. I figured that if I was going to hold a sign for four hours, I was not going to do it solo. Robby had to run to see his new supervisor and give her maps. Good thing because I was kind of pissy and I think he was only too happy to get out for a little bit. He called me on the way home to let me know that his supervisor had found someone to hold the sign instead. I was literally doing a happy dance through the house. We had to pick him up and take him to the place, but I didn't care. I handed him one of my Diet Cokes and gave him 5 bucks to buy himself some lunch. I would have given my first born baby, but he's not a baby anymore and he is a free agent now.
Lately, Emeli and I are swimming at nights. We have gone twice...I know, I know, not a lot, but I'm going to go more this week. I jog from one end of the pool to the other instead of swimming laps. I am not a strong swimmer, so jogging in the pool is much more effective. By the time I am done, I feel great. I go for 20 minutes, but this week I'm going to go for half an hour. I can feel it in my legs and my abs. I also found noodles at the dollar store and stocked up. We now have six noodles and I think that's enough. So Emeli and I go armed with noodles and we float with them, kicking our feet or we jog across the pool together. The other day there was a little 3 year old girl and she was running around the pool trying to get away from her mom. She is just lucky I was not her mom. I would have caught up with her and given her a nice, firm smack on the butt and sat her in time out. Then every time she got in the pool, she would shriek in delight, but not a cute shriek. It was a blood curdling shriek, the kind that pierces ear drums. That is my only complaint about our pool. It is indoors and it echoes terribly. If you get a screaming kid, you're done for.
I have noticed the appalling lack of control that parents have with their children lately. Now I KNOW I'm getting old because I sound just like my dad. I see these kids in Walmart and I shake my head because my kids would NEVER have done some of those things without a good beating back in the car later. The other day Robby and I were in Robert's and this little 4 year old boy got mad at his mom. He just walks right out of the store and stands right in the middle of the parking lot to sulk. The mom completely freaks out, runs out of the store and yanks him out of the parking lot. She brings him back into the store and loudly chastises him. If any of my children are reading this, they are probably saying, "Mom would NOT have done that." They are right. I would have walked out in that parking lot, taken that kid by the arm and brought him back to the store but chewed on him outside of the store without all the drama for everyone to see. I also would have given his bum a firm smack. Then I would have plopped his little body IN the cart and told him that if he gave me anymore grief, he would get another spanking in the car. This mother still allowed her child to walk around. He would walk about 20 feet away from her and sulk. She would loudly tell him to come back. He wouldn't budge. I watched this whole thing knowing what I would have done. I told Robby later that my child would have tried that only once and never again. Robby makes me look like Carol Brady. He would have yanked that kid hard by the arm and told him to "knock it off" and smacked him good and hard. He agreed that his child would do that only once. We are both old. hahaha.
I have crabbed long enough. I think I'm going to go read some scriptures about patience and listen to my iPod. :D
Yesterday Emeli went to the Festival of Colors in Spanish Fork with Brooklyn, so it was just Robby and I running around Central Utah looking at all the "living signs" (people who hold signs) and making sure they all showed up. We were missing 3 out of the 13 and Robby's boss was pissed. Robby got a scathing email from him, which prompted Robby to fire the supervisor he had who was supposed to be there supervising these living signs. Lots of drama. I hate drama. Today we had a new supervisor and although she kept getting lost, she did a great job. Robby kept saying, "I don't get how she can't read a map." I totally understand because I am directionally challenged. The only place where I am NOT directionally challenged is in a mall. Sad, huh? Emeli borrowed my white sneakers so she could see how dirty they would get at the Festival of Colors. Stupid me let her take them thinking I could clean them after. Nope. They are now a light pink color. Not too bad because I like the color pink, but I also like having white tennies, too.
Shari sent me a copy of the book she has been working on, so while Robby drove, I occasionally read her book. I was hooked from the first page and I love it. Now Emeli is reading it and SHE is hooked. She reads aloud when she reads, so I can hear her little voice in there reading Shari's book. She mentioned that Shari likes to swear sometimes. I told Shari that and Shari got a good laugh about that. I told Shari that I swear occasionally, too...like today. I had just filled up a 6 quart plastic jug of Hawaiian Punch and set it on the bar. I set it too far on the edge and the stupid thing spilled all over the carpet. I watched it in slow motion. Then when it hit the ground, it cracked and when I picked it up, it kept gushing punch. I said a word that starts with S really loud. Then I got down on my knees and started spraying. Of course, any time I engage in some kind of project like that, Ollie is very interested and curious. I was in no mood to indulge his curiosity, so I told Emeli to toss him back in his cage. He kept trying to roll in it. GRRRRR!!!
Just as I was getting off my knees from that, Robby told me that two living signs had bailed and that he needed ME to hold a sign and dance for four hours. I was NOT happy about that. I know the place I was going to stand and the wind out there is ferocious. I pulled out everything I would need: huge BYU sweatshirt, scarf, ear covers, gloves, and I sent Emeli to the clubhouse to buy me a couple of Diet Cokes. I figured that if I was going to hold a sign for four hours, I was not going to do it solo. Robby had to run to see his new supervisor and give her maps. Good thing because I was kind of pissy and I think he was only too happy to get out for a little bit. He called me on the way home to let me know that his supervisor had found someone to hold the sign instead. I was literally doing a happy dance through the house. We had to pick him up and take him to the place, but I didn't care. I handed him one of my Diet Cokes and gave him 5 bucks to buy himself some lunch. I would have given my first born baby, but he's not a baby anymore and he is a free agent now.
Lately, Emeli and I are swimming at nights. We have gone twice...I know, I know, not a lot, but I'm going to go more this week. I jog from one end of the pool to the other instead of swimming laps. I am not a strong swimmer, so jogging in the pool is much more effective. By the time I am done, I feel great. I go for 20 minutes, but this week I'm going to go for half an hour. I can feel it in my legs and my abs. I also found noodles at the dollar store and stocked up. We now have six noodles and I think that's enough. So Emeli and I go armed with noodles and we float with them, kicking our feet or we jog across the pool together. The other day there was a little 3 year old girl and she was running around the pool trying to get away from her mom. She is just lucky I was not her mom. I would have caught up with her and given her a nice, firm smack on the butt and sat her in time out. Then every time she got in the pool, she would shriek in delight, but not a cute shriek. It was a blood curdling shriek, the kind that pierces ear drums. That is my only complaint about our pool. It is indoors and it echoes terribly. If you get a screaming kid, you're done for.
I have noticed the appalling lack of control that parents have with their children lately. Now I KNOW I'm getting old because I sound just like my dad. I see these kids in Walmart and I shake my head because my kids would NEVER have done some of those things without a good beating back in the car later. The other day Robby and I were in Robert's and this little 4 year old boy got mad at his mom. He just walks right out of the store and stands right in the middle of the parking lot to sulk. The mom completely freaks out, runs out of the store and yanks him out of the parking lot. She brings him back into the store and loudly chastises him. If any of my children are reading this, they are probably saying, "Mom would NOT have done that." They are right. I would have walked out in that parking lot, taken that kid by the arm and brought him back to the store but chewed on him outside of the store without all the drama for everyone to see. I also would have given his bum a firm smack. Then I would have plopped his little body IN the cart and told him that if he gave me anymore grief, he would get another spanking in the car. This mother still allowed her child to walk around. He would walk about 20 feet away from her and sulk. She would loudly tell him to come back. He wouldn't budge. I watched this whole thing knowing what I would have done. I told Robby later that my child would have tried that only once and never again. Robby makes me look like Carol Brady. He would have yanked that kid hard by the arm and told him to "knock it off" and smacked him good and hard. He agreed that his child would do that only once. We are both old. hahaha.
I have crabbed long enough. I think I'm going to go read some scriptures about patience and listen to my iPod. :D
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
time flies...
Just this morning I realized I have not posted for a while. I'm sure people are clamoring for my posts, so I must post.
On Saturday, we lost our little Ruby. Emeli was making something with frozen berries and popped the lid on Ruby's cage to give her one and called out to me. We both looked in to see her drawing her last little breaths. I stroked her a little bit and then we covered her up so she could die in peace. Robby came home from work and was very sad. He took it kind of hard, which I knew he would. He adored her from the moment we brought her home as Emeli's hamster. He always loved petting her and holding her. She was his hamster. She would not bite him if he put his hand in the cage, but if I put my hand in, she would bite and bite hard! I was the one who fed her mostly, but she knew she was Robby's. Little stinker. Robby told me he would wait a while before getting another one because he didn't want to appear to replace her so quickly.
Today, as we were driving by Petsmart, I asked Robby if he wanted to get a new hamster. He said he would, so we went in. They had THE cutest little Russian dwarf hamster the color of honey. He is tiny and very young. He let Robby pick him up and Robby was sold. Emeli adores him, too. He is really cute. He has red eyes like Ruby, too. We gave him an almond as soon as he was settled in his cage and he went crazy. He is fearless and doesn't bite. He's a keeper.
Sunday we went up to Logan to visit Rachelle and her family. I love going there. We played two games, had a good lunch and got to see the kids. We gave Zoe a Cinderella princess nightie. Zoe loved it and kept taking it off and putting it on. Rachelle told me on Monday that Zoe wouldn't take it off when they had to run errands. She called us on Monday to tell us thank you. She is so cute.
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Wednesday, but could be called Windsday
I got home from school, snacked on some grapes, chatted with Robby and then we had to get out the door to do errands for his work. Today he had to put up a "for sale" sign on one of the newest homes up in Herriman. Herriman is west of West Jordan and has a great view of Kennecott copper mines. My job, when Robby is putting up one of the signs, is to hold the sign and the level and make sure it's standing straight and not at some odd angle. As I was standing there, my hair was blowing like I was in a wind tunnel. It wasn't cold wind, which is nice, it was just super windy. So today is officially called Windsday.
On our way out of Springville, we stopped by Kranky Franks, a hot dog stand that has these obnoxious looking stuffed people sitting outside in lawn chairs. But the hot dogs are good, cheap and they have GREAT sweet potato fries. For $12 we had a very filling lunch. Not too shabby.
I was telling Robby all about the digestive system as we drove and all the drama we have in class and he listens and drives while I talk wildly with my hands flying. The coolest thing is that whatever I tell Robby, he remembers. I sometimes wonder if he is listening to me or just letting me gab on and on. But then he will repeat what I said a couple of days later and I will be blown away at how much he remembers.
Emeli is at the temple tonight (kind of unwillingly until she found out that they might treat them to something in the temple cafeteria---brat).
I have started back on my ADD meds and they give me these stupid headaches. I'm hoping they go away as soon as my body adjusts to the meds. I need these meds for a few reasons: 1. they help me stay focused and not be so scattered 2. they help me with weight management because they tend to take away your appetite. 3. I can remember details better. When I am working, that's very important because I won't get distracted so easily. But meanwhile, they give me this achy headache behind my eyes. I hate it. If I move my head too fast, I feel like my brain is loose and jiggling inside my skull. Last night, my head was throbbing. I took some hydrocodone for that. I have it left over from my stupid crown I just had done. I like having extras for times such as last night.
We have been studying the digestive tract and last week it was the urinary tract. It is fascinating to me how the human body performs so many tasks without us even realizing it. The human body is absolutely beautiful in its perfection. How can anyone deny that there is a God if they study the human body or even an animal's body? It's so organized and so perfect. It's no accident that the body works so perfectly. I sit in class in amazement at the way the body works together to support itself. I love studying medicine and anatomy. I just hope I can do well out in the field.
On our way out of Springville, we stopped by Kranky Franks, a hot dog stand that has these obnoxious looking stuffed people sitting outside in lawn chairs. But the hot dogs are good, cheap and they have GREAT sweet potato fries. For $12 we had a very filling lunch. Not too shabby.
I was telling Robby all about the digestive system as we drove and all the drama we have in class and he listens and drives while I talk wildly with my hands flying. The coolest thing is that whatever I tell Robby, he remembers. I sometimes wonder if he is listening to me or just letting me gab on and on. But then he will repeat what I said a couple of days later and I will be blown away at how much he remembers.
Emeli is at the temple tonight (kind of unwillingly until she found out that they might treat them to something in the temple cafeteria---brat).
I have started back on my ADD meds and they give me these stupid headaches. I'm hoping they go away as soon as my body adjusts to the meds. I need these meds for a few reasons: 1. they help me stay focused and not be so scattered 2. they help me with weight management because they tend to take away your appetite. 3. I can remember details better. When I am working, that's very important because I won't get distracted so easily. But meanwhile, they give me this achy headache behind my eyes. I hate it. If I move my head too fast, I feel like my brain is loose and jiggling inside my skull. Last night, my head was throbbing. I took some hydrocodone for that. I have it left over from my stupid crown I just had done. I like having extras for times such as last night.
We have been studying the digestive tract and last week it was the urinary tract. It is fascinating to me how the human body performs so many tasks without us even realizing it. The human body is absolutely beautiful in its perfection. How can anyone deny that there is a God if they study the human body or even an animal's body? It's so organized and so perfect. It's no accident that the body works so perfectly. I sit in class in amazement at the way the body works together to support itself. I love studying medicine and anatomy. I just hope I can do well out in the field.
Sunday, March 13, 2011
Sunday
I can't remember which day it was, but I kind of had a bad day. I just woke up feeling poopy. I hate that. It wasn't anything I could put my finger on, I just felt like growling. All day I was kind of emotional. When I am like that, I tend to pull inwards. Robby doesn't know how to handle it because I'm usually not like that. When he is "triggered", he usually pulls in as well. I know that I need to just give him some space, let him know I'm there and he will kind of pull out of it. The problem with PTSD is that you can get triggered all the time. You don't know why, you just know you feel edgy all of a sudden. I don't have PTSD, but I get PMS and that's about how I can understand "triggers" from PTSD. It's like someone has peeled the top layer of your skin back and all your nerves are exposed. Everything bugs you. So when I am feeling kind of poopy, Robby just gives me space and lets me know he is there. I finally snapped out of it at around bedtime, which sucks because your whole day is wasted.
Sometimes it's memories of my divorce and all the crap that happened at that time of my life. It was a very dark time and I don't like to go back there in my mind. I know that the only thing that sustained me was my faith in Jesus Christ. I knew He understood what I was going through and I knew that I wasn't going through anything He had not endured Himself. But it was still a very dark time. I lost my faith in a lot of things that I had always believed in my whole life. I remember talking to the Stake President. He had asked me to come and talk to him in his office because he wanted to let me know that Fred had been disciplined by the church. I was still married to Fred, so that is why he could tell me about it. Plus, I think he wanted to make sure I knew that Fred was not getting away with all the things he had done. He asked me about my faith in Christ. There was a picture of Him on the wall and I looked at it. I remember feeling a warm sensation in my heart because I knew He has always been there for me. I knew I had strayed, but He was still there for me and still loved me, no matter what. I do not doubt Jesus Christ.
I had a dream about my dad last night. It felt very real. We were somewhere where he had all his videos. I was visiting him and he had no food in his house. I had a grocery list of things I needed to buy so I could cook for Dad. He always loved my cooking and loved it when I took care of him when he was sick. I spoiled him. I figured he deserved it for all the ways he took care of me as a child. As I was leaving, my dad yelled out, "Don't spend more than $25!" I looked at him and laughed because there was no food in his house and I had a long grocery list. That was the end of the dream. But as I was waking up, I knew he had a message for me. He was disappointed in how I have been treating my mother since her mission. She will call me and I will not answer because I know she wants to talk to me about her video business. I personally feel she needs to concentrate on her mission more and not be looking on her Amazon account and checking it. Robby and I are watching it and getting movies out for her. She needs to have faith in that. But my dad was letting me know that I need to be more patient with her. I lay there for about an hour feeling unsettled and guilty. Then I woke up later missing him.
I could talk to him about anything. I knew if I told him something, he wouldn't tell a soul, not even my mom. She would ask him what we had talked about and he would just say something like, "I don't know, just stuff..." and that would frustrate her. He always gave THE best advise. He was very wise. He understood people.
Emeli is telling me that she doesn't want to go to seminary. I'm going to have to be the "mean mom" and make her go. She needs it. Not only that, her brothers all went and she needs to give it a try for a while. She's lucky. Her brothers had to go to early morning seminary and so did I. That really sucks. I would get up at 5am every morning. I would come downstairs and catch my dad eating breakfast because he left the house at 6am. I would plop down in my seat with my cereal and just start chatting away. I don't know how many times he told me to be quiet and let him enjoy the silence of the morning. He was not a morning person and I am. Robby is not a morning person, either, and he is not always ready to chat in the morning. I wake up and I'm ready to jump out of bed and get moving and listen to music (loud) and chatter away. I've noticed that Emeli is not always in a great mood in the mornings, either.
On Thursday, she was especially snippy. She had misplaced her face cover-up and she was looking for it. I was just kind of standing there eating my cereal and she snapped, "I can see you're busy helping me find my make-up." I looked at her with a "be careful" kind of stare and she huffed. I picked up two things, looked under them, found nothing and went back to eating my cereal. After that rudeness, I wasn't going to break out in a sweat to help her. After about fifteen minutes, when I went into the hall bathroom to do my make-up, she apologized for being rude. She had several projects due this week and it was really getting to her.
On Tuesday night, she had a meltdown. She stood in the doorway of her room and stared Robby down. Don't stare Robby down. I don't take well to my kids staring me down, but I'm like Carol Brady compared to Robby if you stare him down and you are a kid. He said the exact thing Dad would have said to me if I had dared to stare him down (which I never would have dared to do!), "Don't stare me down, Young Lady, or I'll knock your head off." I knew he wasn't going to literally knock her head off. Emeli knows he would not literally knock her head off, either. But she quietly closed her door and ignored us for a while. She has also learned not to slam her door on us. In our last house, she lost her door for a week from slamming it. We had warned her several times not to slam her door. One night she slammed it good and hard and it was the straw that broke the camel's back and she lost her door. She was PISSED! But not as pissed as Robby and I. Robby immediately got his tools and surprised her by taking her door off the hinges.
Anyways, she came out of the bedroom a few minutes later when we sat down to dinner and apologized. I am impressed with how Robby accepts her apologies. He doesn't keep on and on about what she did. He just quietly accepts her apology and moves on as if nothing has happened. We had a very nice dinner and he ended up helping her with the project she was melting down about. All in all, it ended well.
Sometimes it's memories of my divorce and all the crap that happened at that time of my life. It was a very dark time and I don't like to go back there in my mind. I know that the only thing that sustained me was my faith in Jesus Christ. I knew He understood what I was going through and I knew that I wasn't going through anything He had not endured Himself. But it was still a very dark time. I lost my faith in a lot of things that I had always believed in my whole life. I remember talking to the Stake President. He had asked me to come and talk to him in his office because he wanted to let me know that Fred had been disciplined by the church. I was still married to Fred, so that is why he could tell me about it. Plus, I think he wanted to make sure I knew that Fred was not getting away with all the things he had done. He asked me about my faith in Christ. There was a picture of Him on the wall and I looked at it. I remember feeling a warm sensation in my heart because I knew He has always been there for me. I knew I had strayed, but He was still there for me and still loved me, no matter what. I do not doubt Jesus Christ.
I had a dream about my dad last night. It felt very real. We were somewhere where he had all his videos. I was visiting him and he had no food in his house. I had a grocery list of things I needed to buy so I could cook for Dad. He always loved my cooking and loved it when I took care of him when he was sick. I spoiled him. I figured he deserved it for all the ways he took care of me as a child. As I was leaving, my dad yelled out, "Don't spend more than $25!" I looked at him and laughed because there was no food in his house and I had a long grocery list. That was the end of the dream. But as I was waking up, I knew he had a message for me. He was disappointed in how I have been treating my mother since her mission. She will call me and I will not answer because I know she wants to talk to me about her video business. I personally feel she needs to concentrate on her mission more and not be looking on her Amazon account and checking it. Robby and I are watching it and getting movies out for her. She needs to have faith in that. But my dad was letting me know that I need to be more patient with her. I lay there for about an hour feeling unsettled and guilty. Then I woke up later missing him.
I could talk to him about anything. I knew if I told him something, he wouldn't tell a soul, not even my mom. She would ask him what we had talked about and he would just say something like, "I don't know, just stuff..." and that would frustrate her. He always gave THE best advise. He was very wise. He understood people.
Emeli is telling me that she doesn't want to go to seminary. I'm going to have to be the "mean mom" and make her go. She needs it. Not only that, her brothers all went and she needs to give it a try for a while. She's lucky. Her brothers had to go to early morning seminary and so did I. That really sucks. I would get up at 5am every morning. I would come downstairs and catch my dad eating breakfast because he left the house at 6am. I would plop down in my seat with my cereal and just start chatting away. I don't know how many times he told me to be quiet and let him enjoy the silence of the morning. He was not a morning person and I am. Robby is not a morning person, either, and he is not always ready to chat in the morning. I wake up and I'm ready to jump out of bed and get moving and listen to music (loud) and chatter away. I've noticed that Emeli is not always in a great mood in the mornings, either.
On Thursday, she was especially snippy. She had misplaced her face cover-up and she was looking for it. I was just kind of standing there eating my cereal and she snapped, "I can see you're busy helping me find my make-up." I looked at her with a "be careful" kind of stare and she huffed. I picked up two things, looked under them, found nothing and went back to eating my cereal. After that rudeness, I wasn't going to break out in a sweat to help her. After about fifteen minutes, when I went into the hall bathroom to do my make-up, she apologized for being rude. She had several projects due this week and it was really getting to her.
On Tuesday night, she had a meltdown. She stood in the doorway of her room and stared Robby down. Don't stare Robby down. I don't take well to my kids staring me down, but I'm like Carol Brady compared to Robby if you stare him down and you are a kid. He said the exact thing Dad would have said to me if I had dared to stare him down (which I never would have dared to do!), "Don't stare me down, Young Lady, or I'll knock your head off." I knew he wasn't going to literally knock her head off. Emeli knows he would not literally knock her head off, either. But she quietly closed her door and ignored us for a while. She has also learned not to slam her door on us. In our last house, she lost her door for a week from slamming it. We had warned her several times not to slam her door. One night she slammed it good and hard and it was the straw that broke the camel's back and she lost her door. She was PISSED! But not as pissed as Robby and I. Robby immediately got his tools and surprised her by taking her door off the hinges.
Anyways, she came out of the bedroom a few minutes later when we sat down to dinner and apologized. I am impressed with how Robby accepts her apologies. He doesn't keep on and on about what she did. He just quietly accepts her apology and moves on as if nothing has happened. We had a very nice dinner and he ended up helping her with the project she was melting down about. All in all, it ended well.
Monday, March 7, 2011
Just another manic Monday...
So today we were talking about the urinary system...ew. I did not know that a person who needs to be on dialysis cannot pee. They literally cannot pee and they have to limit their intake of fluids. Most of us are always told to drink, drink, drink!! But people on dialysis are not allowed to eat foods that contain too much fluid: soup, watermelon (tragic!!), in fact most fruits, etc. I would be so depressed. Life without watermelon is not worth living.
On Friday, I was doing my workbook and it happened to have an illustration of a penis and all the internal urinary organs. Emeli walked by and saw it. She said, "Mom! What is that?"
I said, "What do you think it is?"
Emeli said, "Ew!" and then she quietly asked me, "Do all boys have those things?" She was referring to the testicles. I told her that they do. I know her mind was reeling as she was thinking about all the boys she has a crush on at school and picturing them with those, too. I had to laugh. Of course, I waited until she was out of the room.
On Saturday, we went all over half of Utah doing all the random things Robby has to do for his job. Emeli was patient because she knew we were going to go out for dinner and to Sam's Club. She also brings along her ipod and listens to her music. Every once in a while we have deep discussions and then she escapes back into her ipod world. I love having Emeli here. After not having her around, I appreciate the precious time I have with her. The summer when she was gone, I missed her so much and worried about her so much. I have come to realize we have to appreciate the precious time we have with our children because it is over way too fast.
I used to love being with my boys. I would love just chatting with them when we were driving in the car. But it wasn't until I was completely childless that I realized how much I miss their company, their thoughts and the laughter we shared.
Every once in a while I will hear a song that reminds me of the boys. Whenever I hear Smashing Pumpkins, I immediately remember Taylor sitting at the computer in the front room blasting his music. Music always makes me think of Taylor. When I hear "Fade into You", I think of Freddy because once he told me that when he misses me, he cranks that song. Another favorite of Freddy's is "Play Me" by Neil Diamond. There are songs that Brett used to play for me and I would complain about them, but now I love them because they remind me of him. It was kind of that way with Dad.
He used to blast his old-time country music from the 30's that was border line blue grass. He would have the windows wide open and you could hear his music from two houses away. I was completely mortified; however, now I listen to those songs on my ipod, cranked, and I smile as I sing along. Of course, I know all the words. There are certain songs that especially remind me of him. Anything by Sinatra will take me right back to my childhood, driving in the car on Sundays looking at open houses and being dragged along. Lori and I used to beg Dad to play Dean Martin singing, "Dream a Little Dream of Me". On Sundays, Dad would play Tennessee Ernie Ford singing old time gospel songs like, "Rock of Ages", "Onward Christian Soldiers" and "What a Friend We Have in Jesus". We played that album at his viewing for his funeral. That was surreal.
Lately I have been painting. It is the best therapy for me. I was feeling kind of blue last week. I guess I was a little burnt out. Painting releases all of that. Robby understands that. He totally supports it. I tell him that I need to create and he gives me space. He lets me buy supplies (when we have the money, of course) and he always tells me how beautiful my stuff is. He actually cares to look at it and admire it. He even gives creative feedback. I will get totally immersed in painting, the whole house will get messy, and I will just sit there with my music blaring while I paint. He will come and check on me, check what I'm making and then go back to what he was doing. I love how we can just hang out like that.
On Friday, I was doing my workbook and it happened to have an illustration of a penis and all the internal urinary organs. Emeli walked by and saw it. She said, "Mom! What is that?"
I said, "What do you think it is?"
Emeli said, "Ew!" and then she quietly asked me, "Do all boys have those things?" She was referring to the testicles. I told her that they do. I know her mind was reeling as she was thinking about all the boys she has a crush on at school and picturing them with those, too. I had to laugh. Of course, I waited until she was out of the room.
On Saturday, we went all over half of Utah doing all the random things Robby has to do for his job. Emeli was patient because she knew we were going to go out for dinner and to Sam's Club. She also brings along her ipod and listens to her music. Every once in a while we have deep discussions and then she escapes back into her ipod world. I love having Emeli here. After not having her around, I appreciate the precious time I have with her. The summer when she was gone, I missed her so much and worried about her so much. I have come to realize we have to appreciate the precious time we have with our children because it is over way too fast.
I used to love being with my boys. I would love just chatting with them when we were driving in the car. But it wasn't until I was completely childless that I realized how much I miss their company, their thoughts and the laughter we shared.
Every once in a while I will hear a song that reminds me of the boys. Whenever I hear Smashing Pumpkins, I immediately remember Taylor sitting at the computer in the front room blasting his music. Music always makes me think of Taylor. When I hear "Fade into You", I think of Freddy because once he told me that when he misses me, he cranks that song. Another favorite of Freddy's is "Play Me" by Neil Diamond. There are songs that Brett used to play for me and I would complain about them, but now I love them because they remind me of him. It was kind of that way with Dad.
He used to blast his old-time country music from the 30's that was border line blue grass. He would have the windows wide open and you could hear his music from two houses away. I was completely mortified; however, now I listen to those songs on my ipod, cranked, and I smile as I sing along. Of course, I know all the words. There are certain songs that especially remind me of him. Anything by Sinatra will take me right back to my childhood, driving in the car on Sundays looking at open houses and being dragged along. Lori and I used to beg Dad to play Dean Martin singing, "Dream a Little Dream of Me". On Sundays, Dad would play Tennessee Ernie Ford singing old time gospel songs like, "Rock of Ages", "Onward Christian Soldiers" and "What a Friend We Have in Jesus". We played that album at his viewing for his funeral. That was surreal.
Lately I have been painting. It is the best therapy for me. I was feeling kind of blue last week. I guess I was a little burnt out. Painting releases all of that. Robby understands that. He totally supports it. I tell him that I need to create and he gives me space. He lets me buy supplies (when we have the money, of course) and he always tells me how beautiful my stuff is. He actually cares to look at it and admire it. He even gives creative feedback. I will get totally immersed in painting, the whole house will get messy, and I will just sit there with my music blaring while I paint. He will come and check on me, check what I'm making and then go back to what he was doing. I love how we can just hang out like that.
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
hahahaha!!!
So yesterday we had to run some errands for Robby's work and our little ferret was still out of the cage. He has taken to sleeping under our little couch in the lining. He likes that we can't reach him when it's time for him to go back to his cage. I finally had to flip the couch up and reach inside the lining and get him out. I laughed so hard when I saw what he was sleeping in. He had taken the scarf we had given him from his cage and dragged it all the way under the couch. The scarf was inside an orange plastic bag and so was he. I also saw the other stuff he has been "ferreting" away. He had a plastic purse sized lotion bottle all bitten through, with the lotion inside all dried up. Suddenly a light went on in my head. At Christmas time I had a lotion bottle in my school bag that had puncture marks in it. At the time I had thought it was from the pens in my bag, but my pens have never punctured my lotions before. Then I remembered how I have a lotion in my purse right now that has two little puncture marks in it. I lifted it out of my purse and realized that the two puncture marks are the exact width of Ollie's mouth. That little beast has gotten into my purse and chomped on my lotions!!!
Little Louie is actually singing again and I'm so glad. I was really missing his little warbling. He warbles all day long to his buddy in the mirror and it is so cute. I think he is on the road to recovery from his run-in with Ollie last week.
Our noisy neighbors upstairs are moving!!!! I am doing a happy dance as I type. They are THE noisiest neighbors I have ever had in all my years of apartment dwelling. I was telling Emeli the other day that I have lived in six different apartments and never have I had such rude and inconsiderate neighbors. The girl who is almost 12 years old literally runs from one end of the apartment to the other back and forth continuously! She stomps, jumps off beds, scrapes furniture, etc. The mother does her laundry at 10:30pm. You can hear her washer spinning at about 11:00pm and it drives Robby and I nuts. Soon after we moved in, the mom was vacuuming at 10:30pm. Brett and I called them the Elephant Family. We would start singing, "Pink Elephants on Parade" whenever we would hear them literally stomping across the floor. You would think from all that noise that these people weigh at least 300 pounds. No, the mom is anorexically thin. The daughter is smallish too. They just stomp like they weigh 300 pounds.
At school, we are doing blood draws. Amber did my blood draw yesterday and gave me quite a big bruise. Today it looks even worse. All the high school students would see my arm and get huge eyes and ask me what happened. We all expect bruises, but not like this. One girl even asked me who did it. I wouldn't tell her because she is a huge gossip and a little brat and I didn't want her to say anything to Amber or anyone else about it. Amber already felt bad enough. Amber had pulled the needle out before she had pulled the blood tube out and it caused me to bleed inside because of the pressure. No biggie, but it looks awful and blood squirted out at the time. Very messy. It doesn't hurt, so I'm okay. I have given three blood draws and I'm still a little nervous. Our teacher literally holds our hand and directs us as we poke. I appreciate that.
Today I walked outside and it was not too bad. It was cloudy kind of Seattle cloudy, but it was 53 degrees and I was really liking that. I walked to the Chevron and back. I haven't walked that far outside since the summer because it has been SO freaking cold!!!
Tomorrow we do more blood pokes, hear what is on the test and study like there's no tomorrow and then Friday is another big exam. I just hope I can remember all this stuff when I am actually working.
Little Louie is actually singing again and I'm so glad. I was really missing his little warbling. He warbles all day long to his buddy in the mirror and it is so cute. I think he is on the road to recovery from his run-in with Ollie last week.
Our noisy neighbors upstairs are moving!!!! I am doing a happy dance as I type. They are THE noisiest neighbors I have ever had in all my years of apartment dwelling. I was telling Emeli the other day that I have lived in six different apartments and never have I had such rude and inconsiderate neighbors. The girl who is almost 12 years old literally runs from one end of the apartment to the other back and forth continuously! She stomps, jumps off beds, scrapes furniture, etc. The mother does her laundry at 10:30pm. You can hear her washer spinning at about 11:00pm and it drives Robby and I nuts. Soon after we moved in, the mom was vacuuming at 10:30pm. Brett and I called them the Elephant Family. We would start singing, "Pink Elephants on Parade" whenever we would hear them literally stomping across the floor. You would think from all that noise that these people weigh at least 300 pounds. No, the mom is anorexically thin. The daughter is smallish too. They just stomp like they weigh 300 pounds.
At school, we are doing blood draws. Amber did my blood draw yesterday and gave me quite a big bruise. Today it looks even worse. All the high school students would see my arm and get huge eyes and ask me what happened. We all expect bruises, but not like this. One girl even asked me who did it. I wouldn't tell her because she is a huge gossip and a little brat and I didn't want her to say anything to Amber or anyone else about it. Amber already felt bad enough. Amber had pulled the needle out before she had pulled the blood tube out and it caused me to bleed inside because of the pressure. No biggie, but it looks awful and blood squirted out at the time. Very messy. It doesn't hurt, so I'm okay. I have given three blood draws and I'm still a little nervous. Our teacher literally holds our hand and directs us as we poke. I appreciate that.
Today I walked outside and it was not too bad. It was cloudy kind of Seattle cloudy, but it was 53 degrees and I was really liking that. I walked to the Chevron and back. I haven't walked that far outside since the summer because it has been SO freaking cold!!!
Tomorrow we do more blood pokes, hear what is on the test and study like there's no tomorrow and then Friday is another big exam. I just hope I can remember all this stuff when I am actually working.
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