June 25

I just realized that four years ago today my divorce from Fred was finalized. I recall literally doing a happy dance in front of the 10230 home in front of Fred. Probably not very nice, but I was relieved to be free of him, his drama and unfaithfulness. 'Nough said.

Thursday is my last day of externship. I am mixed about that. I am relieved that I can sleep in for a while until I find a job, but I will miss the excitement and the people I have gotten to know in the clinic. I love working in the medical field. I love helping people feel better. I love talking with each patient and getting to know them a little. I love drawing blood. I love the teamwork that happens when someone needs a lot of care.

Today a 78 year old woman was standing on a step ladder and fell. She banged the back of her head on a nearby table and she cut her head open pretty badly. She cut it clear to the bone. The laceration was about three inches long. The doctor told her that she had literally scalped herself. I was able to help the RN clean her up, reassure her, get the instruments ready for the doctor and watch the suturing. That was fascinating because they used a stapler. Not your average office stapler. When you get that kind of a laceration, they usually staple it shut. The doctor gave her nine staples to the back of the head. I cleaned all the blood out of her hair. The RN came back in and said, "Judi is MUCH better with hair than I am!" He had been trying to clean her hair and was doing an okay job of it. She's going to be sore for a while.

Yesterday a little four year old boy came in needing stitches on his face. The neighbor's dog had bitten him right below the eye. It wasn't bad. He just needed three little stitches. The funniest thing is when the RN asked him what was in his pockets because they were all full and lumpy. The little boy pulled out a cherry. His pockets were full of cherries he had picked. I laughed so hard. I thought that was so cute!!

I realized while working there that I love the adrenaline rush I get when there is a patient that needs serious stuff done. I love being in the middle of it all. I love knowing that I made their experience a little more comfortable. I have discovered my little niche.

We have been watching "Dexter" and I am hooked. I find myself thinking about it a lot and analyzing the whole thing.

Our little ferret, Bandit, is so funny. Every morning I let the two of my little ferrets out of the the cage and they run straightaway to the food dishes. Then they frolic for the rest of the morning while I am trying to get ready for work. It's so cute.

I am exhausted, but in a good way. That's another thing I love about my job. I come home completely fulfilled and feeling like I have done something of worth. It's awesome!

Last night Robby and I went to see "The Source Code". The movie was okay. We got there early because we like to get places early. We love to catch the previews, too. By the time the movie was starting, people were still streaming in...Mormon standard time at the dollar movie theater...grrr. These three guys came down our row and asked us to scoot over one seat so they could all sit together. We were kind of disgruntled. The previews were showing and we were irritated that they were late. Then, as the movie was starting, one of them was messing with his fart app on his iPhone. So annoying. You could hear them giggle like little girls and one would say, "Man, what did YOU eat?" I told Robby that if it happened one more time, I was going to go complain. Of course, it happened one more time. So I grabbed one of the theater workers and dragged her in. She gave them the evil eye and told me that if they did it again, she would kick them out. They were good after that. But I did hear a suspicious cough right after I sat down. I suspect they probably said, "Bitch" in their cough. Whatever. Typical BYU students. They come into the dollar movie theater and act all stupid and yell things during the movie. Very lame.

Saturday

This week was a pretty busy week. I worked Monday, took off Tuesday and then worked Wednesday through Saturday. I saw a ton of stuff. Sometimes it's heartbreaking and sometimes I have to laugh. I love the clinic. I love learning all the stuff there is to know. I love helping people. I love talking medicine with the nurses and doctors. It's so fascinating to me.

Yesterday we sent a lady to the ER because she had gotten her index finger stuck in a machine and tore off the pad of her finger. She was holding it above her head and crying. I didn't blame her one bit. It looked pretty awful. Today we sent a teenage boy to the ER because he got his finger stuck between the handle and the hammer of the gun he was shooting. It was really bad looking. He was literally shaking with shock. His mother wouldn't even look at it. That's where she differs from me. I would have looked at it to assess the damage. The nurse wrapped it up and told him they needed to go to the ER. I hung around to chat with him and make sure he was okay while she went to get more bandages and some ice. I told him that his finger was still intact, he had just lost the thumbnail. He would be okay, but he needed to calm down or he would suffer the effects of shock. He visibly relaxed and took deep breaths. I told him to hold his hand above his head to keep from bleeding so much.

I gave a hip shot to one lady today who told me that I did such a good job, she hardly felt it. That made me feel really good. Another lady came into the clinic because she thought she might have a blood clot on her leg. I asked her if she would let me look at it and feel it. They are usually hard, swollen, hot to the touch and very painful. I told her I was a student and had never seen or felt a blood clot before and would love to see what one might look like. She was very happy to let me look at it and feel it. She also told me she had no idea I was a student because she thought I was so professional. She thought I had been doing this for years. That made me feel really good.

I love my job. I love the people I work with. Everyone is friendly and helpful to me. They always thank me for my help when I leave and I always tell them I love to be there and love the work.

I miss Emeli and every time I go somewhere or buy something, I think about how much she would love what we are doing or what we are getting. I know she will love our new little ferret, Bandit. He is a biter, but we are taming the savage little beast.

Bandit

I had to put Ollie down yesterday and it was very hard! We took him to the vet and she told me that he had lymphosarcoma. That is a common cancer for ferrets. His was spread throughout his cells. She told us that the kindest thing for him would be to put him down. I had suspected that and was not surprised. Robby was not prepared for that. He was hoping that he could be saved. He was crying. I told them I would stay with Ollie and be with him when they put him down. That was harder than I thought. They had a little gas mask on him and he was completely out and then they inject his heart with something that makes his heart stop beating. The vet had a stethoscope and listened to his heart. Just before he told me that Ollie was gone, I felt Ollie's presence to the left of me. It was the most bizarre thing. I just felt he was standing there looking up at me like he has done thousands of times as I fed him or stood in the kitchen with him beside me. It was comforting. Robby could not bear to be there, so he waited in the car. When I came out, I was bawling. He asked me if I was okay. I told him I needed ice cream. Robby took me to DQ.

So today at work, toward the end of my shift, Robby came in with a smirk on his face. I knew he was up to something. He asked me if I had a minute, so I followed him out to the car. He told me to look on the driver's seat and there was a box. I turned and said, "Did you get me a kitten?" He grinned and said, "No, look..." On the outside of the box, he had written, "Hi Mom...my name is Bandit." I opened the box and there was a little ferret. He was tiny and had the raccoon face that is so cute! I had half an hour of work left and it seemed to last forever. I asked him why he had bought me the ferret. He said, "Yesterday you were so sad about Ollie. I didn't like to see you like that." I love Robby!

When I got home, I went to pick up Bandit and he gave me a nasty little bit on my pointer finger...little beast. I know he is adjusting, so I forgive him. But the biting will not continue. For biting, you scruff ferrets like you do puppies and that's what we are going to have to do. Little Teddy is very excited to have him. He showed Bandit all around the house and little Bandit followed him.

I wish Emeli was here so she could see him. I know she is going to love him.

Today at work was super busy. At one time, both doctors were using our two procedure rooms and stitching up patients. It was crazy! We had a possible pulmonary embolism, a 2 year old with severe bronchitis, another 2 year old who had put a pony bead up her nose, a couple of possible broken bones, lots of strep tests, a few UTI's and lots of sinus and abdominal problems. I LOVE this!!! I also love the people who work there. It is a lot of fun there. We work well together and I love it.

June 9

So tomorrow is June 10. A year ago tomorrow I walked out on Novacoast and was "Laid off". At the time, I knew it was the right thing to do to accept being laid off and receiving unemployment. I also knew I was going to try to go to school. I had such a good feeling about it. Robby was very nervous, but told me that he was going to trust my feelings. I am SO grateful that a year ago Rick was such a jerk that I finally walked.

I am loving my externship. I love the ladies who work there. The doctors are starting to trust me more and know that I want to help and will do anything to learn. Occasionally, I see heart breaking things. Occasionally, I see things that really bother me. Today an 86 year old lady came in who had been to visit her husband at the home where he is staying. She was getting into her car and fell. The people at the home saw her fall, came and brought her back in and cleaned her up. She came to us right after that. She really tore up her elbow and hand. Her skin was like parchment and the doctor had to use three different threads to stitch her up. It took him a long time. My heart just broke seeing her like that. Sometimes we get these sassy old guys who think they are funny and pretend to be these ornery old guys. One guy today had a cap that said "World War II veteran" so I knew he was Dad's generation. He was wearing a t-shirt that someone had written "The Italian Stallion" on the back. He was there for a dressing change. I started putting on gloves and he immediately yelled, "Why are you doing that, putting gloves on? Well, maybe it's a good thing because I probably have HIV" I turned to him and said, "I'm putting these gloves on to protect you from ME!" That shocked him and he gave out a shout of laughter. The doctor must have heard us because he came in and told me that the guy had fallen off a bar stool. He paused for a moment and then said, "At an ice cream parlor!" Another old guy comes in to get his blood checked to see how it clots. If they get blood thinners for strokes, clots or high blood pressure, they need to be monitored to make sure the blood doesn't get too thin. He is notorious around the clinic. I went out to get him and he barked, "What are ya smiling like that for? Are you looking forward to poking me?!" I replied that that is precisely why I went into this line of business and that is why I was smiling. Once again, he took a double take and then laughed. They remind me of Dad.

I love the ladies that work there. When it's slow, we sit around and chat and I get along with them really well. Carolyn was telling me that she is going to put in a glowing review for me. She would love for me to work there. I actually look forward to going to work, unlike my last job. I dreaded every moment going there, hated being there and was thrilled to go home.

Now onto more depressing news. Ollie. We are going to have to put him down. We found out from the vet yesterday that he probably has a tumor in his pancreas. It is causing him to have hyperglycemia. It is a very common thing among ferrets. We could pay for the surgery to have the tumor removed, but there is no guarantee that he won't grow another one. Plus, if we don't have the surgery, he will waste away until he goes into shock. I know this is going to really upset Emeli. I am just grateful that we still have the cat and Teddy. She has been bonding with Teddy and I think that will help a little. Robby and I were talking about all the cute things about Ollie today. It is killing us to watch him literally wasting away. There is no life left in his eyes. He literally lies in a heap in a little blanket. Today he went potty and collapsed in his potty. I can't believe how much this little ferret has wormed his way into our hearts. He is just so darn cute. I will really miss him. I'm just glad we have had an opportunity to have him in our home. He has brought us so much laughter.

One week of externship

So I started my externship on Monday and it has been awesome! I am learning a ton of stuff and I'm sure I will soon know as much as any doctor--just kidding. Monday was pretty busy because everyone had been sick for weeks and finally decided that Memorial Day would be a good day to spend in a clinic. I met Linda who is probably in her mid 50's. She is the LPN I was supposed to follow that day. She was very sweet to me and very good about telling me how to do things. I met the other ladies there and they were at first a little shy around me. Once they got to know me a little and realized that I was friendly and willing to do anything, they were very open and friendly with me as well. I would LOVE to work at this clinic. I really enjoy the doctors there. There is a real cooperative spirit between everyone and I would love to be a part of it.

I have done a lot of blood draws. The first two were very unsuccessful. I almost made one guy pass out because I poked him twice (without any success) and then Katie (an MA) ended up poking him and getting blood. He had to lie down to keep from throwing up and passing out. I felt so awful!!!! I wanted to go home right then, but I also knew that I couldn't give up yet...jeez. But since then, I have done a quite a few successful blood draws and so I don't feel so bad. Plus, there have been some times where the ladies there have missed, too. One guy on Friday got poked 8 times and they were still unable to get blood from him. I wasn't even involved in that one.

I have seen a lot of strep, UTI's, a few badly scraped knees from bike accidents, broken arms, the corner of a fingertip cut off, naked bums because I had to give hip shots and vaginal itching. It has been fascinating. I come home exhausted, but totally fulfilled and loving every minute of it. I know I am in the right field. I just hope I can find a job.

On Tuesday afternoon, I took Ollie to the vet. We hadn't realized how much weight he was losing until we compared him to Teddy, our new little ferret. Ollie is completely scrawny. On Monday night his poop was literally liquid, he was shivering and totally lethargic. For Ollie, that is NOT normal. He is usually a pain in the butt getting into mischief. They loved him at the animal hospital because most of them had never held a ferret before. They kept him overnight and fed him liquids and antibiotics. It cost $200, but it was worth it. Emeli was distraught. She was crying. She asked me if he was dying. I told her he was very sick, but the vet said his heart and lungs sounded good. That was a good sign for me as long as we could get him hydrated and back to his usual weight. He is still not his usual self. He sleeps a lot, but I figure he is trying to heal. He has gained a little weight. They gave us this tube of stuff to give him. That is impossible. When I tried to give it to him, he made all kinds of ferrety noises and wouldn't eat it. Ferret noises are little grunts that sound like squeaks. It's absolutely adorable when two ferrets are making that noise together when they are playing. When they are avoiding medicine, it sounds like little shrieks and you feel like a jerk. They had to shave his little neck to draw blood. He has about four little red dots where they poked him. Poor guy. When he saw me when it was time to come home, he just lay in my arms with his little head against my shoulder. In fact, whenever I pick him up, he lays his little head on my shoulder and lets me pet him...very unusual for Ollie. It's so sweet. The thought of losing Ollie made me really scared. I have really grown attached to this little guy, even though there are times I would gladly skin him for the mischief he gets into!!!!!