Bandit

I had to put Ollie down yesterday and it was very hard! We took him to the vet and she told me that he had lymphosarcoma. That is a common cancer for ferrets. His was spread throughout his cells. She told us that the kindest thing for him would be to put him down. I had suspected that and was not surprised. Robby was not prepared for that. He was hoping that he could be saved. He was crying. I told them I would stay with Ollie and be with him when they put him down. That was harder than I thought. They had a little gas mask on him and he was completely out and then they inject his heart with something that makes his heart stop beating. The vet had a stethoscope and listened to his heart. Just before he told me that Ollie was gone, I felt Ollie's presence to the left of me. It was the most bizarre thing. I just felt he was standing there looking up at me like he has done thousands of times as I fed him or stood in the kitchen with him beside me. It was comforting. Robby could not bear to be there, so he waited in the car. When I came out, I was bawling. He asked me if I was okay. I told him I needed ice cream. Robby took me to DQ.

So today at work, toward the end of my shift, Robby came in with a smirk on his face. I knew he was up to something. He asked me if I had a minute, so I followed him out to the car. He told me to look on the driver's seat and there was a box. I turned and said, "Did you get me a kitten?" He grinned and said, "No, look..." On the outside of the box, he had written, "Hi Mom...my name is Bandit." I opened the box and there was a little ferret. He was tiny and had the raccoon face that is so cute! I had half an hour of work left and it seemed to last forever. I asked him why he had bought me the ferret. He said, "Yesterday you were so sad about Ollie. I didn't like to see you like that." I love Robby!

When I got home, I went to pick up Bandit and he gave me a nasty little bit on my pointer finger...little beast. I know he is adjusting, so I forgive him. But the biting will not continue. For biting, you scruff ferrets like you do puppies and that's what we are going to have to do. Little Teddy is very excited to have him. He showed Bandit all around the house and little Bandit followed him.

I wish Emeli was here so she could see him. I know she is going to love him.

Today at work was super busy. At one time, both doctors were using our two procedure rooms and stitching up patients. It was crazy! We had a possible pulmonary embolism, a 2 year old with severe bronchitis, another 2 year old who had put a pony bead up her nose, a couple of possible broken bones, lots of strep tests, a few UTI's and lots of sinus and abdominal problems. I LOVE this!!! I also love the people who work there. It is a lot of fun there. We work well together and I love it.

June 9

So tomorrow is June 10. A year ago tomorrow I walked out on Novacoast and was "Laid off". At the time, I knew it was the right thing to do to accept being laid off and receiving unemployment. I also knew I was going to try to go to school. I had such a good feeling about it. Robby was very nervous, but told me that he was going to trust my feelings. I am SO grateful that a year ago Rick was such a jerk that I finally walked.

I am loving my externship. I love the ladies who work there. The doctors are starting to trust me more and know that I want to help and will do anything to learn. Occasionally, I see heart breaking things. Occasionally, I see things that really bother me. Today an 86 year old lady came in who had been to visit her husband at the home where he is staying. She was getting into her car and fell. The people at the home saw her fall, came and brought her back in and cleaned her up. She came to us right after that. She really tore up her elbow and hand. Her skin was like parchment and the doctor had to use three different threads to stitch her up. It took him a long time. My heart just broke seeing her like that. Sometimes we get these sassy old guys who think they are funny and pretend to be these ornery old guys. One guy today had a cap that said "World War II veteran" so I knew he was Dad's generation. He was wearing a t-shirt that someone had written "The Italian Stallion" on the back. He was there for a dressing change. I started putting on gloves and he immediately yelled, "Why are you doing that, putting gloves on? Well, maybe it's a good thing because I probably have HIV" I turned to him and said, "I'm putting these gloves on to protect you from ME!" That shocked him and he gave out a shout of laughter. The doctor must have heard us because he came in and told me that the guy had fallen off a bar stool. He paused for a moment and then said, "At an ice cream parlor!" Another old guy comes in to get his blood checked to see how it clots. If they get blood thinners for strokes, clots or high blood pressure, they need to be monitored to make sure the blood doesn't get too thin. He is notorious around the clinic. I went out to get him and he barked, "What are ya smiling like that for? Are you looking forward to poking me?!" I replied that that is precisely why I went into this line of business and that is why I was smiling. Once again, he took a double take and then laughed. They remind me of Dad.

I love the ladies that work there. When it's slow, we sit around and chat and I get along with them really well. Carolyn was telling me that she is going to put in a glowing review for me. She would love for me to work there. I actually look forward to going to work, unlike my last job. I dreaded every moment going there, hated being there and was thrilled to go home.

Now onto more depressing news. Ollie. We are going to have to put him down. We found out from the vet yesterday that he probably has a tumor in his pancreas. It is causing him to have hyperglycemia. It is a very common thing among ferrets. We could pay for the surgery to have the tumor removed, but there is no guarantee that he won't grow another one. Plus, if we don't have the surgery, he will waste away until he goes into shock. I know this is going to really upset Emeli. I am just grateful that we still have the cat and Teddy. She has been bonding with Teddy and I think that will help a little. Robby and I were talking about all the cute things about Ollie today. It is killing us to watch him literally wasting away. There is no life left in his eyes. He literally lies in a heap in a little blanket. Today he went potty and collapsed in his potty. I can't believe how much this little ferret has wormed his way into our hearts. He is just so darn cute. I will really miss him. I'm just glad we have had an opportunity to have him in our home. He has brought us so much laughter.

One week of externship

So I started my externship on Monday and it has been awesome! I am learning a ton of stuff and I'm sure I will soon know as much as any doctor--just kidding. Monday was pretty busy because everyone had been sick for weeks and finally decided that Memorial Day would be a good day to spend in a clinic. I met Linda who is probably in her mid 50's. She is the LPN I was supposed to follow that day. She was very sweet to me and very good about telling me how to do things. I met the other ladies there and they were at first a little shy around me. Once they got to know me a little and realized that I was friendly and willing to do anything, they were very open and friendly with me as well. I would LOVE to work at this clinic. I really enjoy the doctors there. There is a real cooperative spirit between everyone and I would love to be a part of it.

I have done a lot of blood draws. The first two were very unsuccessful. I almost made one guy pass out because I poked him twice (without any success) and then Katie (an MA) ended up poking him and getting blood. He had to lie down to keep from throwing up and passing out. I felt so awful!!!! I wanted to go home right then, but I also knew that I couldn't give up yet...jeez. But since then, I have done a quite a few successful blood draws and so I don't feel so bad. Plus, there have been some times where the ladies there have missed, too. One guy on Friday got poked 8 times and they were still unable to get blood from him. I wasn't even involved in that one.

I have seen a lot of strep, UTI's, a few badly scraped knees from bike accidents, broken arms, the corner of a fingertip cut off, naked bums because I had to give hip shots and vaginal itching. It has been fascinating. I come home exhausted, but totally fulfilled and loving every minute of it. I know I am in the right field. I just hope I can find a job.

On Tuesday afternoon, I took Ollie to the vet. We hadn't realized how much weight he was losing until we compared him to Teddy, our new little ferret. Ollie is completely scrawny. On Monday night his poop was literally liquid, he was shivering and totally lethargic. For Ollie, that is NOT normal. He is usually a pain in the butt getting into mischief. They loved him at the animal hospital because most of them had never held a ferret before. They kept him overnight and fed him liquids and antibiotics. It cost $200, but it was worth it. Emeli was distraught. She was crying. She asked me if he was dying. I told her he was very sick, but the vet said his heart and lungs sounded good. That was a good sign for me as long as we could get him hydrated and back to his usual weight. He is still not his usual self. He sleeps a lot, but I figure he is trying to heal. He has gained a little weight. They gave us this tube of stuff to give him. That is impossible. When I tried to give it to him, he made all kinds of ferrety noises and wouldn't eat it. Ferret noises are little grunts that sound like squeaks. It's absolutely adorable when two ferrets are making that noise together when they are playing. When they are avoiding medicine, it sounds like little shrieks and you feel like a jerk. They had to shave his little neck to draw blood. He has about four little red dots where they poked him. Poor guy. When he saw me when it was time to come home, he just lay in my arms with his little head against my shoulder. In fact, whenever I pick him up, he lays his little head on my shoulder and lets me pet him...very unusual for Ollie. It's so sweet. The thought of losing Ollie made me really scared. I have really grown attached to this little guy, even though there are times I would gladly skin him for the mischief he gets into!!!!!

Memorial Day Weekend

This last week has been a L O N G week!! I went to school on Monday, received 8 shots in order to pass off all my shots. Then I helped out at the Murdock's. Working at the Murdock's is THE most monotonous job. You open the door to the plastic machine, pull the plastic thingee out, spray the machine, cut off the plastic parts that don't belong and then do it all over again! I did it for a few hours on Monday, several hours on Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday and Friday. Because it is a repetitious movement, my right arm throbs when I am done. The last time I worked there, I got Tennis Elbow. Now when I work there, it flairs up again and I have to wear my brace. I listen to my iPod or else I would go insane!

So we got another ferret on Thursday night. He is a cute little guy. He looks just like Ollie except that he is much bigger. Ollie is full grown, but must have been the runt of the litter or else this little guy was the biggest in the litter. He has a little ruff around his head that makes him look like a bear, so we have named him Teddy. So we have Ollie and Teddy. The first night when they met, it was hilarious. They were leaping around like long-lost brothers. They were sniffing each other's bums and making this little grunting noise to each other. They snuggle at night, eat at the same time and play all the time. Because they play so hard together, they sleep really hard too. It is a huge advantage to have two ferrets instead of just one. They get into a lot less mischief that way. One gross thing: Ollie loves the sound of plastic wrappers. The other day, he was getting into my tampons in the bathroom. He found one of the used dispensers left in the wrapper in my trash. When I went to get Teddy from under the couch, there was my tampon dispenser just sitting there with the wrapper on the other side under the couch. I felt a little violated...

We have had to find 12 living signs for this weekend and that is a HUGE pain in the butt. For one thing, most people who respond to living sign ads are not the highest functioning people on the planet. It seems they always like to bail on us late the night before the event or the morning of the event when it's really hard to find people last minute. That pisses us off more than anything. It especially pisses ME off because I usually have to hold a sign...I HATE holding signs. I would rather work at the Murdock's for 10 hours straight.

I start my externship tomorrow and I am pretty nervous. I will probably be shaking tomorrow when I pull up to the clinic. I hope they are nice.

Now Emeli and I are listening with baited breath to KEXP.org to hear Taylor propose to Emma. Taylor called me SO nervous last night. Every time there is a break in the band playing, I get all nervous for him, too. Emeli and I listening, Robby is in the other room and has said, "Call me the second Taylor starts to talk!" Emeli is a total spaz! She keeps saying, "Ten more minutes...", "Six more minutes..."

May!

Wow! It's May already! That means I only have a couple of weeks of school left...really only one now.

Today as I was walking out of class, I passed a stink bug. I haven't seen a stink bug in years. I remember irritating them as a kid and watching them lift up their bum at me. Suddenly, there was this kind of a coppery smell that is pretty nasty. Hence, the name stink bug. So this little stink bug, without provocation, lifted up his bum to me. I was too far from the ground to get a whiff of his noxious odor, but I felt the drift of what he was trying to say to me. I was wondering why I'm not blessed with that ability. Why can't I do that to people who piss me off? It is much better than flipping someone off and yelling at them. You just lift your bum up in the air and spray! Skunks have it, too. Why are they the lucky ones? There are a few choice people who would probably get a bum lift from me and it would sure feel good to let them know how I feel. Oh well.

Now Emeli is nagging at me to go swimming. She got a new bathing suit and is always whining for me to go with her. Blah.

May 4, 2011

Today "Born to Be Wild" was playing on my iPod. It brought back a memory that I wanted to share.

In 2007, times were hard and I wasn't making it financially. I knew I had to move to Utah. I cried for days before and after making that decision; however, I knew it was the right thing to do. My job was not a good fit, I had been seeing a man who hurt me, and the church was paying my rent, my utilities and giving me food. It was time to get out.

I had to leave Freddy and Taylor in WA. Taylor was going to try to go to school and get a job in Bellingham so he could be closer to Emma. Freddy was bound and determined to finish school and wouldn't move with us. Leaving two of my children behind was the hardest thing I have ever done. I wasn't as worried about Taylor because he had Emma and he seemed happy to move on with his life. I was really worried about Freddy because he was moving in with the Hodsons and I wasn't sure how that would work. Not only that, Freddy had always been a homebody and really liked being with family. I knew it was going to be very hard for him.

The day we left Redmond, it was raining, which seemed fitting. I was emotional and was hesitant to leave Freddy. As we drove away in the truck, it was just Emeli and I because Brett was in the car with Mom. I was driving down the street for the last time and Freddy was standing in the street waving to us. Emeli and I sobbed as we drove away. I knew I was doing the right thing, but it was excruciating. As Emeli and I were driving around Lake Sammamish, we were still bawling. I told Emeli we needed to stop crying and look on the bright side. This was an adventure we were embarking on and we needed to cheer up and see the excitement in that. I was speaking more to me than to Emeli, of course. I put "Born to Be Wild" on my iPod and we sang along at the top of our lungs.

All of that flashed through my mind as that song played on my iPod today. As I look back at that time, I still know that leaving WA was the best thing. It was hard, but it was right.

Easter

Yes, I know, I have not blogged for forever!!
Emeli went to her dad's a couple of weeks ago and came home last Sunday night. Whenever Emeli is gone to her dad's, she comes back very emotional with mixed feelings. It hurts for me to see her like this, but I know it is hard to go back and forth from one household to another.

While she was gone, and on my spring break, Robby and I worked at the Murdock's business. On Thursday, we worked for 9 hours and on Friday we worked for 6 hours. The whole time I was turning this knob and cutting the plastic extra pieces off. I did not enjoy the work and it gave me tennis elbow. So now I have this stupid brace on my arm and my arm is always sore. I can't lift things with my right arm and it throbs a lot at night when I am sleeping.

This last week was the last week of lectures in class. Now we are working on our Front Office packs, labs and trying to get internships. I am a little worried about all of that. In order to intern with IHC (Intermountain Healthcare), I need a background check and a drug test, all of which I have to pay for. Thank goodness it only costs about $50 total. But I have to go to the Spanish Fork prison to get fingerprinted. Kind of weird.

The other morning I knocked on the bathroom door so I could do my make-up. Emeli called out, "What?!" I told her I needed to do my make-up. She let me in and as I glanced at her to see what mood she was in (with Emeli, it's important to establish that first thing in the morning) and she said, "What?!" I ignored her because I knew she was not in the best of moods and it's safer that way. Then, as I was walking into the kitchen to eat, I looked at her once more and she said, "What?!" I said, "Do you realize that the only word you have said to me today is 'What?!'" She laughed when she realize I was right. Now it's our joke first thing in the mornings.

The other night we went for a long walk and it felt really good. As we were walking toward the walking trail, we spent a couple of minutes trying to kick each other's butts. We ended up laughing hysterically as we began our walk. Then, at the end, I almost tripped over a raised sidewalk and caught myself. I looked kind of stupid as I did that. We spent the next few minutes imitating me trying to catch myself from tripping. I enjoy Emeli!!

Last night Robby and I went out for dinner and to a movie. It is the first time we have had a formal date since Emeli came to stay. Emeli's friend, Brooklyn, came to hang out. We bought them alfredo from Pizza Hut and I got them miniature Ben and Jerry's ice creams and they were set. They went swimming and playing on Emeli's new iPod. We went and saw "Hanna". A weird, violent movie. It's funny when we go see movies like that. It's like Robby's past catches up with him. He will leave the theater all tensed up with adrenaline flowing. He has this kind of remote look in his eyes and I can tell he is in the "fight or flight" mode. It usually exhibits itself in his driving. Last night he went speeding through the parking lot.

Today we bought a plastic bin and filled it with some of the sand from Robby's storage. We put Ollie in it and he went crazy digging. He literally shoves his face in the sand up to his eyeballs and roots around and then he digs like he is digging to China. It's hilarious. We stood there watching and laughing at him. He is so funny!