So this week has been kinda busy. On Saturday we went up north to the Layton Hills Mall. We bought Emeli another pair of jeans, a pea coat ($20 at American Eagle!!) and some stuff at Bath and Body Works. She was so excited to get some perfume there. As we were just walking around, there was this kiosk with scarves and a sign that said "All scarves $5 today". They had pashmina scarves, so Emeli and I snatched up one each!! Of course mine is pink and Emeli's is bright purple. It was really fun. Poor Robby had to drive around and check sign routes while we shopped. I'm pretty sure he preferred what he had to do rather than walk the mall with us.

Robby had to work on Sunday, so Emeli and I went to church without him. We came home after sacrament meeting because we both felt sick. We ended up watching "Lord of the Rings" and laying around.

Emeli gets homesick for WA when she talks to everyone out there, especially since Ralph was born last week. She was really down about not being there. But last night there was drama on the phone with Maddie, so at times I know she is not missing that.

We have been learning about the lungs, asthma and emphysema. I don't get how someone could smoke after knowing how smoke can cause so many diseases. Emphysema is TERRIBLE! I couldn't think of a worse way to die. You literally suffocate. You expend 50-80% of your energy all day long just trying to breathe. Not a great life. I also learned how blessed I was to think quickly last year when I had to give myself the heimlich. That could have been a really bad situation.

Work for Robby has been super stressful. He has had to drive all over the place, clean out the storage and make new signs all in 10 degree temperatures! It has been so cold and it doesn't show any sign of getting better. Yesterday we were in the storage at Lehi (10 degrees!!) and breaking down signs for Fieldstone homes. They want all their signs on metal stakes instead of wooden stakes. So we had to pull them off the wooden stakes one by one (almost 100 of them). I found the best way to do that was to step on the back of the sign and just tear them off; however, it pulls ALL the muscles in your hip and thigh. So today I feel like I got beat up. Last night we were making the signs in our small condo. It looked like a little factory in there. Huge pain in the butt. To see Olly run around through all that mess is hilarious. Today has has to pick up his boss from the airport and drive him all around parts of Utah today and tomorrow. Then his boss flies back to CA. Robby is a little worried about that.

On Monday, I had an appointment with the dentist for a tooth that has been bugging me since Christmas. It has really been bugging me since Halloween, but it has been painful since Christmas. For the last week and a half I have been steadily taking ibuprofen all day long. I'm sure my liver and kidneys love that! I went into the dentist hoping he could either pull the tooth (my last choice) or give me a crown. When he found out that it has been hurting and waking me up at night with the pain, he wouldn't touch it. He sent me to an endodontist for a root canal. That costs $800, but that's just the preparation for the crown that the dentist is going to do. That will cost another $800!! So I will have a crown for each child. I think each child should pay for one of my crowns! hahaha!! The root canal was not bad at all. I had laughing gas and I lay there kind of in and out of it the whole time. He told me that I wouldn't care what they did to me and time would pass quickly. He was right on both counts. I asked him if I could have laughing gas every day. That night, still numb, I was eating dinner. Emeli was laughing so hard at me because my expression was so funny looking. When Robby saw me, he started to laugh too. I went into the bathroom to look and I had to admit that I looked pretty hilarious.

School is getting a little intense. I had a spelling test today. I have a test on Friday, a quiz on Monday and then a test on next Friday. The following Monday after that, I have another test, then a quiz the next day and then a spelling test the next day. Whew! But I still love it and enjoy what I'm learning.

Valentine's Day, my favorite holiday is coming up and I'm planning some hearts in our window. Emeli was making fun of me last night because I was busy digging in my paper and looking at shapes to cut on my Cricut. I know the second I start making something cute on our front room windows, she will join me and put something in her bedroom window. hahahaha!!! And she says I'm a dork. She is one too!

new year

It is a new year and time for me to start posting again! I haven't written in my journal for a long time, either.

Emeli is living with me and all is right in the world. I can't say how happy I am to have her at home with us. She is a great little companion and I love hanging with her in the mornings. We try to say a little prayer, hugging each other before we go out the door together. Emeli to Jr High and me to my little College. It's so nice to hear the bus pull up outside and know that Emeli is on it and coming home again. It's also nice to have her help in the kitchen, her companionship at the gym and to laugh with her and have her do my hair (although she probably gets sick of doing it!!).

Las Vegas was wonderful. It was warm and I got to see skinny Taylor. I am really proud of how he is taking care of himself, reading labels, running and determined to keep it up, even when he is tempted by a huge buffet at the Luxor. It was good to just chat with him, listen to his music and to hug him. He has grown up to be an amazing young man. I'm grateful that Emma shared him with us. It was very nice.

Today I went to a funeral for a 7 month old baby. The mother went in to get him from his crib and he was dead. That is every mother's nightmare. As she walked into the chapel following the tiny, white coffin, my heart split in two. I stood there watching her trying to be as brave as she could, but she broke down. I don't blame her. It was so heart wrenching to watch her shoulders shake as she cried. I found myself quietly crying as the tears ran down my face and down my neck. I can't imagine how she feels with empty arms and a silent home. I sat there thanking Heavenly Father that I never had to endure that pain. At the grave, she kneeled by the tiny coffin and cried again. It was the hardest thing to watch. I hope my children never have to endure such pain.

I am grateful that my children are alive and healthy and I have had the privilege of raising them and being called Mom. I have never had a desire to be anything else and I am grateful that I had that opportunity four times!

March 15, 2010 Monday...

March 15, 2010
It’s time for me to count my blessings…

My husband…because of him, I can finally be myself. He supports me 100% and allows me to speak my mind. He doesn’t judge me. He is my best friend.

My children…I have learned many life lessons from them. The biggest thing I have learned as a parent is the importance of free agency. As a parent, it is so hard to let them choose for themselves. I have also learned how to love unconditionally.

My parents…My father was always there for me, protected me, and sacrificed for me. I could tell my dad anything and knew he would never judge me. He was very wise. He would tell me all the time that I was a good mother. I miss him. My mother is 100% behind me. I could tell her I am going to dye my hair blue because I feel like it and she would support me and tell me I need to do what I feel is best. She gives good advise.

Jesus Christ…He has always been there. That cheesy poem about footsteps in the sand is true. Many times I have felt Him right next to me when I am struggling.
Heavenly Father…He has taught me how to be a better parent. I feel his love for me. I know He loves me no matter what.

The Holy Ghost…He guides me. He has been a huge part of my ability to mother my children. He has always let me know when I need to be aware of my childrens’ struggles. He has never failed me. He gives me a quiet assurance that everything will be okay.

My talents…my ability to play the piano and create art has saved me. It allows me to process things that are happening. I play the piano and my mind sorts through all my troubles. I create art and I heal.

My testimony…my belief in God, Jesus Christ and the doctrines that Christ taught are my core. I can’t imagine not having that belief. It carries me through rough times. It helps me have perspective.

My health…I am healthy, strong, able to work hard, and function. I am fortunate that my health has never been something that keeps me from enjoying life and all the opportunities I have.

My childhood…I had a very protected childhood. I lived in a safe place. I always had a roof over my head. I never went hungry or wanted for things. I was indulged often. I struggled like everyone, but I knew my family loved me and they would always be there. I had a good life.

When I stop and think about my blessings, it puts life into perspective. I can see how much Heavenly Father has blessed me. I see how I need to help others. I am grateful.

Friday

I promised I would post more, so here goes.

Robby's new paper route is hard. That's all that needs to be said. I remember how much of a pain my route was in WA and it brings it all back.

Last Saturday morning, we were folding our papers. There was this one girl all dressed in spandex. Bright red hair, plain looking with a build like myself, but bigger boobs and she works at WalMart. How do I know she works at WalMart? Because she was telling anyone within earshot about her job, talking to no one in particular, just talking. She was jogging in place in line to get her papers. There were carts, people and huge racks everywhere, but she was jogging around the warehouse, around people, carts, papers and racks. She stopped by her own cart and said, "People tell me they get tired watching me jog around." Our neighbor, who got Robby the job, said, "I get tired watching you, so go outside." I wanted to say even meaner things, but I kept them to myself (because I'm like that...Brett would laugh at that!) I just wanted to slap her. I'm not at my most patient at 2am.

Lots of drama about the kids possibly moving with their dad, but I don't want to talk about it because it gets me upset and angry. Suffice it to say, I'm bitter, sad, angry, etc.

I went to the doctor the other day for my ADD meds. The night before I had stabbing pain in my right shoulder blade on my back every time I took a deep breath. I woke up with it. I figured that while I was at the doctor's I would ask him about it. He pressed on my back, but there was no pain. He listened to my lungs and they sounded good. He asked me if I had done any kind of exercise that would hurt my back. I had not. He asked if I had been out in the cold...yep!!! Robby's paper route. So he told me I have pleurisy. It's a viral lung inflammatory infection. It lasts about 7 days and you just get to take a lot of ibuprofen. It's feeling better, but every once in a while it gets uncomfortable. I found a hoodie thingee at WalMart for $1. It's pink (of course). I tried it on in the car and Robby told me he was going to sew ears on it. Then he told me I look like E.T from the side. He asked if I was planning on wearing that in the warehouse...BRAT!!!!

Every morning, when I play dutiful mom and fix breakfast for Emeli and tease Brett, they like to sing for me. Their song of choice is, "Doing Your Mom". I told them today that that song is not allowed in my house!!! There was a lady in SLC who was a cafeteria worker at the high school. She was busted for buying expensive gifts for a fifteen year old so he would have sex with her. HOLY COW!!!!! How in the hell...there is NO way I could even think that, let alone do it. Fifteen?!!!

I am wearing my KZOK t-shirt today and of course, my boss had a comment. I told him that radio station blows the supposed rock station 103.5 The Arrow out of the water. The Arrow considers Billy Joel classic rock...okay. I told him that this radio station has been around since the beginning of rock n roll and plays rock n roll, not 80's pop. He said it was part of the whole Seattle grunge thing...whatever. I am proud of my KZOK shirt and wear it with pride.

I love my husband, my children and I love being a mother. For the last twenty-two years that is what I have been. I don't know what I would do if I didn't have children in my home. I had no plans to be an "empty nester" for at least six years.

March 2, 2010

Yesterday Robby got a paper route. We have a Mexican family on our street who got him the job. I knew they did paper routes and I also remembered from when I did routes that they don't really care if you have all your green card stuff accurate. A lot of illegal aliens work doing paper routes. It's hard work, but it pays well.

Robby went this morning with someone so they could show him his route. He gets car sick easily and this guy was driving so erratically that Robby had to throw up during the route. Then when he came home, he threw up again. When he climbed back into bed, he was literally frozen. I left him this morning with a couple of layers of blankets, a heating pad at his feet and tea by the bedside. He's not worried about doing it himself because he will be the one driving and that makes a huge difference.

I will help him this weekend. The kids want to help, too. They have a ton of experience...hahaha!!

Poor Robby. :(

Surprise!!

Poor Taylor waits and waits for me to post a blog and it never happens. Well, today is the day!

If I waited until my life was quiet and without stress, I would never blog; hence, the absence of posts for a while. So even though my life is very hectic, I will try to be more faithful.

My job is going well. I am not working on quotes and renewals which means that I can get commission, which will be nice in the summer months because those are our busy times. Bill, who has been a thorn in my side at work, got fired on Friday. It was because I told Rick how he has been yelling at another employee. It was the final straw for Rick, so Bill was let go. It was very uncomfortable on Friday and I kind of had a cloud over me all weekend because of it.

Robby and I are happy, even though he doesn't have a job right now. He is working toward getting unemployment, but that's on hold because there was a dispute about his last job, so we are ironing that out and then hopefully unemployment can go through. In the meantime, he is not earning anything and he feels like a complete loser. It's really hard on him to not be busy. But he does make great dinners! :)

Brett and Emeli are wanting to move with their dad if he gets a job in CA. I'm not happy with that at all. I would have NO children with me. They would be raised by Cozette, who is a terrible mother.

On a positive note, I sold something on etsy.I also finished a craft project I will be hanging on the wall, which I'm excited about.

I will also be taking March 12 off so I can have a long weekend. There are no days off in March, so I'm giving myself one. That will be nice.

I would love to be home and craft all day and sell them, but until then, I work in an office. :)

Today...

I have not posted for a long time and I promise that I will write more this week.