So today I took THE most hellacious math test I have ever taken. The only ones that have come close are the geometry tests I had in High School where I did not take the time to memorize the theorems. I would just leave the entire page blank--and surprisingly enough, I failed geometry. I also have had hellacious algebra tests at BYU to the point where I had to drop the class and opt to take it later and hope I got smarter in the meantime. Today's test was right up there with those. It was 200 problems of crazy fractions with answers like 3/200 or 14 14/45. huh?! Those are the kinds of answers that make you doubt whether you are answering correctly. Then we had to convert our stupid American way of measuring (gallons, quarts, pints, etc) to the metric system that the ENTIRE world uses, except us. As if that weren't enough, I also had to figure out what and how much medicine to give a patient and convert it from mg to mL. By the time I was done, my brain was FRIED!!! I told my friend, Angel, that I was going to go home and drink a long, tall Diet Coke and eat a candy bar. I deserved it. Instead I opted for a banana dipped in nutella and a long, tall Diet Coke. Just as good.
There is this psycho lady who is in my class. I won't tell you too much about her, but I will tell you that she is THE queen of inappropriate things to say. Example: we were given a flier on the different positions we have patients assume on the examining table depending on what the patient needs to have done. One of them has the patient leaning on his elbows, butt in the air. Psycho lady turns to me and in a stage whisper says, "That is MY favorite sex position." and laughs really loudly and then slaps me HARD on the back. TMI. Another time we were learning the muscles and there was a drawing of a body with just the muscles showing from behind. Of course, you could see the gluteus maximus. Psycho lady turns to me and says, "My husband's butt is just like that...high and tight." and again slaps me on the back and laughs super loud. Once again, TMI. I DO NOT want to know her favorite sex position. I DO NOT want to know what her husband's butt looks like. Last example: she told me one morning that when her husband dies, she has told him that she is going to bronze his "member" and hang it above her bed. WHY DO I NEED TO KNOW THAT?!!!! So today for the math test Psycho lady brings a jar with lavender scent beads in it. It is so that she can sniff the lavender when she starts to panic during the test. All I can say is, "Wow!"
So today I just came home, ate the nutella and the DC and made a cute little recipe card thingee. Tonight I will study for the quiz we have tomorrow on terminology. But today I gave my brain a break.
Emeli called me up from her friend, Brooklyn's, and told me she has an assignment due in Health tomorrow. She has known about this assignment for at least a week. She is supposed to decorate a shoe box that explains her personality.
Emeli: Mom, since you have all that cute scrapbook paper, can you cover my box for me while I'm gone?
Me: no, but I can show you how to do it.
Emeli: well, I won't have time when I come back from Brooklyn's.
Me: I will not do your homework.
Emeli: we are going to be going exercising when I get home and then I won't have time to do my box.
Me: you will. I will not do your box for you.
Emeli cracks me up because she thinks I am a novice parent with my finger up my nose, fumbling my way through parenthood. She has no idea that I have been completely broken in by her three older brothers (especially Freddy!!). I think she thinks that if she tries to come in through the back door and ask things, I won't figure it out. What she doesn't realize is that I tried the same things on MY parents, Taylor, Freddy AND Brett tried before her, so now I am a veteran and I am wizened. She is always shocked when I figure it out.
Today I got home from school and Robby had little Oliver out. Oliver thinks our room is paradise. He loves to go under our bed and explore through all the things under there. He loves to crawl through all of Robby's paperwork. I have a drawer that slides out from under the bed that I store my pajamas in. We didn't hear him for a while or see him, so we thought he probably fell asleep somewhere. Sure enough, he had climbed into my pajama drawer and was all curled up in my pajamas. It was very cute, but I did not want to have the smell of ferret all over my pajamas that I would smell all night as I slept. I picked him up very gently, while he breathed loudly in his sleep (cute!!!) and put him back in his cage. He is hilarious.
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