In contrast...

Last weekend was wonderful and this one has been pretty crappy. I expected it, so I'm not too surprised. I started my period on Thursday night. By Friday morning, I was miserable, but I had to go to work. I don't have any sick time and I need the hours. I endured most of the day. I just moved very slowly. We had a work lunch at Costa Vida, which was good, but I was not really able to enjoy my meal. Heather sat next to me and said, "You need to finish everything on your plate..." We came back to the office and I was feeling much worse. Finally, after doubling over in pain in the bathroom, I knew it was time for me to think about going home. I would leave at 4:00 instead of 5:00. Just an hour early and I could make up the time next week. My boss can be really cool and then he can be a jerk. This time he was really cool. I went in his office and told him I don't feel well, plus I don't have much to do. He told me to go home and pretend I stayed until 4:00. So I did. Good thing because the second I got home, it hit like a vengeance!!!

Poor Emeli could hear me groaning and came up the stairs to check on me. I was on the bed just crying in pain. That scared the heck out of her and I felt bad for doing that to her, but I couldn't help it. She is so worried that something will happen to Roberto or I and she will be left alone. I know it's from the divorce. In her child's mind, she knows that things are not forever and could change and get bad anytime. That's also something that makes me feel really guilty. The divorce was really hard on her. It just kind of pulled the carpet out from under her. She lay next to me on the bed quietly crying for me. She quietly asked me if I was going to die. I told her I felt like I was going to die, but no, I was not going to die. I would recover from this, but in the meantime, I felt really crappy. I told her not to worry about me. I was just in a lot of pain, but would be better soon. She still stayed by me for about half an hour just making sure I didn't split in half or something. Poor thing.

Mom brought me some Xanex (muscle relaxers) and some health food pills she got. They are these little tiny white circle pills that look like candy. You take eight at a time and let them dissolve on your tongue. Amazingly enough, they work. They don't make it all go away, but they sure do help. You take eight pills and then fifteen minutes later, you take eight more. I'm going to invest in those little guys for next month, too. Something tells me it is not going to get any better.

Roberto kept calling me. One time he called me and I was in tears. I haven't been in that kind of pain for a long time and it worried him. He told me he wished there was something he could do. But there really isn't anything. At 4am, I woke up in pain again and took some of the little white candy pills. Once again, I was surprised that they worked. I took two doses of them and I was able to go back to sleep by 5am. Of course, I woke Roberto up, though. He just rolled over and held me until I fell back to sleep. That's about all he can do for me. I feel guilty, though, because I toss and turn a lot when I am like that. Needless to say, he didn't sleep well last night, either.

Today I finally feel a little human. I'm not all the way better, but I was able to go grocery shopping and make some dinner. But now I am in bed again because I'm feeling a little worse. So I am taking it easy. If I feel like this tomorrow, I am NOT going to church. I will just lie in bed and curl up in a ball.

I'm grateful that this thing only lasts for about two days, though. If it were much longer, I would probably toss myself off our balcony. I am grateful for my children who are especially helpful at this time. They run and fetch for me when I am lying in bed. Unfortunately, Roberto has to work all the time, so he can't be here. But I'm sure he would prefer that to waiting on me hand and foot or listening to me moan...just a guess. :)