Monday, April 6, 2009

This weekend was very nice. On Friday night, Emeli had Isabella spend the night. I went downstairs to find them out on the balcony playing Trouble with the sliding glass door wide open (at least the screen was shut) and my ipod playing on my little stereo blaring out onto the balcony. It was probably 38 degrees outside!!! Of course, I started scolding. "I am NOT going to heat the whole world...blah, blah, blah..." The two of them sheepishly came back inside and played on the front room floor. I walked away just shaking my head.

I had left work at 1:30 and was so excited because I was going to go grocery shopping and get a few things, including strawberries to make jam. I came home, made wheat bread, which turned out super delicious. It even got complete approval from Brett, which is quite an accomplishment. Then I made freezer jam and then I made dinner. Dinner was a chicken and rice dinner. Roberto got home from work at 6ish and we ate. Everyone was very happy with the jam. It's absolutely delicious. I got enough strawberries to make more jam when this batch runs out. Everyone was very happy about that. In fact, I have a feeling the jam is not going to last very long!!

Saturday Roberto and I had a birthday lunch for Matthew Howden. He is turning 50 years old. That was quite a bit of drama. There is a lot of history with him and his wife and it's very sad. He had an affair off and on for a year. He kept going back and forth between the other woman and his wife. She is a much better woman than I am because after the second time of leaving me, I would have said, "You're out!" You can see how it has hurt his children. He was being very difficult and demanding during the party. He treated his family terribly. It really bothered Roberto. We spoke with his wife quietly about it. She is still hurting. My heart just bled for her and Roberto watches how he treats his family and he wants to kick Matthew's butt. We had stopped in SLC to see Rachelle at their hotel. They had tickets for conference and Jason and Stein had gone to the Saturday morning session. We played with the little ones in the hotel room. D'Jayden was so cute. Rachelle opened the door and he saw me and then he saw Roberto and he yelled, "Opa!" It was sweet. He gave Roberto a tour of all the cool things in the hotel room: the safe, the tub, the beds and how he could jump from one bed to the other. I proceeded to toss him onto the bed over and over again. He was cute.

By the time we had eaten lunch, visited with all the Howdens and stopped to see Rachelle again in Layton AND gone to Smith and Edwards, an army and navy outlet, we got home pretty late. We had bought caramel apples for the kids so they weren't too upset about us being so long. The whole time we were at Smith and Edwards, I kept thinking about Freddy. He would love that place. It has all this military crap, clothes, etc. Right up his alley.

Sunday we spent listening to conference on TV. I baked rolls, cookies and made a Sunday dinner. I always miss the older boys when I do a Sunday dinner. I miss having everyone around the table, talking and laughing. I love cooking for my family and wish we all lived closer so I could do that for them. They could get at least one home cooked meal a week. I really miss them.

Roberto stresses about this job a lot. It's not like anything he has done. He hates sitting at a desk all day long. He hates not knowing exactly what his paycheck will be. I don't blame him on either of those two issues. By Sunday night, he was starting to get stressed about it. He literally lies in bed, unable to sleep because he has so much going through his mind. I am always telling him to leave all those thoughts on the floor right next to his backpack. He can pick them up in the morning and deal with them then. That's very hard for him to do.

Over the weekend, Fred's wife, Cozette, had her baby. I can tell the kids are mixed about it and I'm sure I will get reports from them all the time on how different she is than I was. Emeli was very quiet about it all when she got back from seeing the baby on Sunday night. I can tell she is struggling with the whole fear that Elizabeth will replace her. She's worried that her dad will not love her anymore. I need to stress to her how a parent's heart always has room to love each new child without losing the love they have for the existing ones. I did not understand that until I had children of my own and I felt my heart expand each time I had a new little one. I looked into her eyes and saw how she was guarding herself and how she felt pain, but wasn't quite ready to talk about it yet. My heart breaks each time I see Emeli go through another emotional struggle. She has been through so much. She is a strong little thing, but I can see how it just tears her up inside.

On Saturday Emeli and Brett were roller blading and Reuben (who is going to feel my shoe up his butt soon) was calling her fat. That makes me so mad when she tells me kids are calling her fat. She is not fat! She used to be chubby, but she has lost a lot of weight and looks great. But she doesn't see it and it doesn't help when some stupid boy calls her fat. Reuben called her fat and she called Reuben an asshole. Of course, Brett quickly reported that to me when they got back in the house. I told her she is not allowed to say that word and the next time she says it, she will meet me at the sink and I will wash her mouth out. I'm tempted to take Reuben (who is fat!!) over my knee and beat the crap out of him. It's boys like that that create anorexic girls! The next time I see that kid, I'm going to walk up to him and give him a piece of my mind. He will not be calling Emeli names after that. So I'm on the warpath...haha!