It's been forever since I have blogged. I have avoided blogging for the last little while because my job has really been hard. For a while, I was ready to walk. I was coming home in tears and miserable. But things are better now. I didn't want to vomit all my feelings in the blog. That would be boring. So suffice it to say that my job is better right now. It's always cyclic with my boss. He's a jerk for a while, then he feels sorry, then he's nice and it cycles like that. It's an abusive circle. But it pays the bills and there is nothing better out there right now.
We went to the Provo temple on Friday to do Dad's work. That was nice. I didn't really feel him there, but that's okay. Ryan did his work and he felt the Spirit and felt like it was a good thing, so I'm satisfied with that. It felt good to be back in the temple again. I reflected a lot on how I have been in the last two years and I'm not too happy with myself. So I have decided to clean up my language. Roberto would never tell me stop swearing, even though he is not a swearing person himself. He only swears when he is truly angry. I used to be that way, but I have started to swear a lot more than that. I told Roberto I was going to stop swearing and he just nodded. I told him I appreciate that he never told me to stop swearing but he let ME decide for myself. He said that's the way it should be. I should only change if I want to change. I love that about him.
Of course, the morning before I had to go to the temple, there was drama. There always is. I had given my key to Brett a couple of weeks ago and then Freddy found it and used it, so it was not on my key ring. Freddy went grocery shopping with me that morning and didn't bring his key, either. So when we got back from WalMart, we were locked out. Of course, when Roberto left, he had the house locked down and there was NO way for us to get in. So we drove to Emeli's school, found her on the playground and got the key from her. I flew upstairs, changed and met Barbi, Ryan and Mom at our lunch place and was able to just inhale my lunch before we left. But I was telling Freddy that it's not really a good temple day if you don't have drama like that beforehand.
We bought Emeli two goldfish on Wednesday. She was thrilled. She named one Bones because Taylor told her to and the other one looked like a tiger, so we named it Tigger. The next morning, Bones was dead. This freaked her out, but we got over it and went back to WalMart to tell them about the fish. We had our receipt, but they wanted the dead fish, too. okay. whatever. We got a replacement fish. It was really cute. Emeli was very worried that it would die as well. She was going to Idaho with her dad and wanted us to all take care of them. Unfortunately, the fish both died on Friday night when she was gone to Idaho. It wouldn't be so bad except that she has lost a lot of pets in the last two years. One summer we had two litters of kittens and each night at about 10pm, one of the kittens would die. There were 8 kittens. Talk about drama. Every single night we lost a kitten. So she's really gun shy about losing pets. So we are going to go to PetSmart instead of WalMart. We think the fish are sick and diseased there at WalMart.
As we were driving home from WalMart, the song "The Flame" by Cheap Trick came on the radio. Roberto started singing it to me. In the song he says,
"Wherever you go, I'll be with you.
Whatever you want
I'll give it to you
Whenever you need someone
To lay your heart and head upon
Remember after the fire After all the rain
I will be the flame"
As Roberto was singing that to me, he was holding my hand and catching my eye while he was driving. It was very tender. Emeli sat in the back seat watching us. I looked back and caught her eye and we shared a smile. She knows how happy I am and I know she likes seeing it. I'm hoping that little things like that will help her know what SHE wants when she gets married.
So this weekend we went to Malad, ID for Memorial Day weekend and that was really nice. It was very relaxing to just sit around, talk and I got a ton of needlework done. I also learned how to make really good curry. So I'm making it on Friday night. YUM. We went by Rachelle's on the way back down to Springville. That was nice. Rachelle and I went shopping for shoes and of course, that was way fun. There is nothing like getting out and shopping for shoes.
Emeli was a little emotional when she got home last night and saw her little empty bowl. There was something murky floating around in the water, so we are thinking the water was gross and the fish were diseased. So we are going somewhere else for new fish for her this week.
I know I have left out a bunch of stuff, but I will keep more abreast of things from now on.
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